For a long time, especially at the beginning of a new year, I felt this desire to overhaul my life. New habits. New goals. Big changes. January would come around and I would start looking for the thing that was finally going to fix everything.

What I eventually realized is that I didn’t actually need an overhaul. I wasn’t starting from nothing. There were already good things in my life. They just needed more intention and consistency.

Instead of adding more, I needed renewal.

That shift is what led me to the idea of a Rule of Life.

How I Was Introduced to a Rule of Life

I was first introduced to a Rule of Life after attending a workshop at the Proclaim Truth Conference in 2019 with Jill Barlow. I had heard of a Rule of Life before, but it felt abstract. I didn’t know what it looked like in real life.

What I loved about Jill’s workshop was how practical it was. She shared how she actually lived this out, through daily, weekly, monthly, and annual rhythms. It helped move the Rule of Life from an idea to something tangible.

One phrase she used has stayed with me ever since when asked what is a rule of life:

“Guidelines that support and cause us to do the things we want and need to do.”

A Rule of Life wasn’t about adding pressure or becoming more disciplined for discipline’s sake. It was about creating support (think of a trellis for a vine) for the life I was already trying to live.

What a Rule of Life Is (and Isn’t)

A Rule of Life is not about earning God’s love or spiritual performance. It is about formation.

It helps clarify what matters most, and then creates small, repeatable rhythms that keep those things in front of us. It gives structure and intention without rigidity.

At its core, a Rule of Life helps us stay rooted in the gospel by shaping our days around love of God and love of neighbor.

A Modern Companion: The Common Rule

Another modern expression of this same idea is found in The Common Rule by Justin Whitman Earley. His work takes ancient wisdom and translates it into everyday life, especially in a culture shaped by distraction. This is a summary that might be helpful.

Earley describes a rule not as a list of spiritual tasks, but as a set of habits we commit to in order to grow our love for God and others. His framework includes simple daily and weekly practices like Scripture before phone, shared meals, intentional rest, and meaningful conversation.

What I appreciate about The Common Rule is how clearly it names something we all experience: formation is already happening. The question is whether we are being formed intentionally or accidentally.

This fits so naturally alongside a Rule of Life. Both remind us that rhythms shape us, and small practices repeated over time matter more than big one-time changes.

What My Rule of Life Looks Like

Over time, my own Rule of Life has taken shape through simple rhythms that fit my actual life.

For example:

• Daily: Ending the day with three things I am thankful for, daily movement, no phone use in my bedroom
• Weekly: Sending an A.C.T.S. prayer to a small inner circle, attending church, family meal planning
• Monthly: Serving at church, serving the community, dinner out
• Annual: Setting aside time with my husband to pray and talk through financial generosity and how we want our giving to be shaped, attend a conference, spiritual retreat

A Simple Framework to Create Your Own Rule of Life

One helpful way to begin is by separating your life into a few key areas and then naming rhythms that support each one.

Here are the categories I often use:

• Relational
• Family
• Finances
• Physical
• Home
• Work
• Spiritual
• Learning

Then, instead of trying to do everything daily, think in terms of different time frames.

Rule of Life Planning Chart

You do not need to fill in every box. Start small. Let this be a working document you revisit as seasons change.

Example Rhythms Rooted in the Gospel

If it helps, here are a few examples. These are not expectations. They are meant to spark ideas and show how ordinary life can become formative over time.

Relational

• Daily: Send and respond thoughtfully to texts
• Weekly: Check in with a friend
• Monthly: Host a lunch after church and invite new people
• Annual: Trip with friends

Family

• Daily: No phones at the table
• Weekly: Shared family meal, Friday night pizza, devotional
• Monthly: Date night, 1-1s with the kids
• Annual: Family vacation

Finances

• Daily: Make my own coffee
• Weekly: Weekly purchases instead of spontaneous daily ones
• Monthly: Budget review
• Annual: Intentional generosity planning

Physical

• Daily: Get daily steps
• Weekly: Sabbath rest
• Monthly: Meal planning
• Annual: Physical and wellness exams

Home

• Daily: Make my bed
• Weekly: Reset the house
• Monthly: Declutter one area
• Annual: Have a yard sale or donate

Work

• Daily: Email inbox clean-up
• Weekly: Planning and time blocks
• Monthly: Focused project work
• Annual: Annual projects and goals

Spiritual

• Daily: Prayer and Bible reading
• Weekly: Corporate worship
• Monthly: Serve
• Annual: Retreat

A Final Word

A gospel-centered Rule of Life is not about striving to become someone new. It is about renewing what is already good with intention and grace.

It creates space to abide.
It helps resist distraction.
It shapes us slowly, faithfully, over time.

At the end of the day, one question I ask myself isn’t whether I did everything, but simply this: Was I faithful with what God gave me today?”