Recently, I had the joy of visiting a former mentee—someone I’ve walked with for years. She was holding her newborn in her arms, and I couldn’t help but reflect on how much growth I’ve witnessed in her life. What struck me most wasn’t just the life changes she’s experienced, but the posture she’s maintained throughout our relationship—humble, open, and eager to learn.
In discipleship, we often focus on how to mentor well—but rarely do we talk about how to follow well. The truth is, discipleship is a two-way street. And the posture of the mentee matters deeply.
So whether you’re currently being mentored or considering asking someone into your life in this way, here are a few practical tips for being a faithful, engaged mentee:
1. Be on Time (and Honor the Time Commitment)
It might seem simple, but being on time shows you value your mentor’s time. Life happens, and there’s grace for that—but constantly needing to reschedule or cancel last-minute can unintentionally send the message that the relationship isn’t a priority.
Prioritizing your time together—even if it’s just once a month—builds trust and momentum in the discipleship journey.
2. Be Grateful
Mentors give you their time, wisdom, and often a piece of their heart. A quick thank you, a follow-up text, or even a note of appreciation can go a long way in building mutual encouragement.
Try something as simple as:
“Thank you for meeting with me today. I always walk away with something valuable. (be specific when you can!)”
3. Come Prepared
If you talked about reading a book or your mentor gave you things to intentionally think about from your last meeting—follow through. When you come ready to engage, it encourages your mentor and gives direction to your time together.
Send your mentor updates along the way showing that you’re reflecting, taking next steps, or wrestling through the process. A quick text like, “That Scripture you shared is still on my mind this week—thank you,” or “I tried what we talked about and here’s what happened…” shows that you’re invested and paying attention.
Preparedness communicates hunger to grow—and that’s one of the most encouraging things a mentor can see.
4. Be Curious and Ask Honest, Specific Questions
Good questions open doors to deeper conversations. And the best questions show that you’re truly watching and listening to your mentor’s life—not just looking for generic advice. Use this experience to grow in curiosity.
Here are a few examples to try:
1. “I’ve noticed how calm you stay when things get chaotic—has that always come naturally, or is that something God’s shaped in you over time?”
Why it works: You’re naming something you admire in your mentor and inviting their story.
2. “I’ve been feeling stuck at work lately—how would you navigate a season where you’re unsure if God is leading you to stay or move on?”
Why it works: It’s honest, specific, and invites your mentor’s experience with discernment.
3. “You ask really thoughtful questions—how did you learn to connect like that? I want to grow in that too.”
Why it works: It highlights a strength you see in them and shows you’re eager to grow in the same area.
5. Be Willing to Repent
Life gets messy. You will likely make mistakes—and so will your mentor. Keep short accounts. Be quick to ask for forgiveness when needed, and extend grace when it’s your mentor’s turn.
Discipleship is more than information transfer—it’s formation. That means there will be real, sometimes awkward, growing pains. Humility and repentance help you both keep moving forward growing together.
6. Communicate Clearly & Set Realistic Expectations
Be upfront about your availability, what you’re hoping to learn, what you are looking for in a mentor, and how often you’d like to meet. This helps your mentor know how to best serve you—and helps avoid unmet expectations down the road.
7. Engage Outside of the “Official” Meeting
Some of the best moments in discipleship happen in the in-between—through spontaneous questions, quick prayer requests, or just sharing life updates. Be open to staying connected, not just when it’s scheduled.
A simple text like, “Hey, can you pray for me today? Heading into a tough conversation…” helps your mentor walk with you in real time.
Final Thought:
Being a good mentee doesn’t mean being perfect—it means showing up with a heart to grow, to listen, and to walk closely with Jesus alongside someone a little further down the road.
The beauty of discipleship is that both people grow. So don’t underestimate your role as a mentee. Your faithfulness to follow is a powerful witness—and a gift to those who walk with you.